Crazy in the Caribbean
by Lalana-chan
Summary: Hopefully, a different kind of self insert.  There's a better summary inside.


Summary: For some godly reason, Calypso yanks me from my time and tells me to help Jack, Will, and the others or piracy will die with them. I decide to cut loose and have a little fun on this goddess imposed mission of a joy ride.

Disclaimer: I don't own POTC. Sad face.

Jack: Do' mind her, she's jus' depressed.

Me: I am not!

Will: And a touch crazy.

Me: Aww, thank you, Will. Here, have an Elizabeth plushie.

Will: *takes plushie and hides it from Jack*

Jack: Wha' about me? *pouts*

Me: *whacks Jack on the back of the head NCIS-Gibbs style* There, that's for calling me depressed. Now, on with the show! :)

* * *

><p><em>Dere be a touch of deztiny abou' ye, child.<em>

For the past fortnight, I've had dreams.

_Pi-rats are not destined te die out._

I say dreams, but they aren't really. They're not exactly nightmares either, though.

_Do you wan tan ezcape, child?_

They're flashes. Images of something I can't grasp, but feel as though I will when the time comes.

_Jus' say da word, child, and ye will be free._

And a voice, thick as honey with a Jamaican accent, promising adventure, true companionship, a release from the present shackles of my conformist life.

A figure, restless in her sleep, tosses and turns, struggling to keep up with what she's only half seeing cradled none too gently in the lax hold of Morpheus.

_Dey won' know wha' hit 'em._

With a last reverberating chuckle, hazel-rum eyes snapped open and the female bolted upright in bed, panting as if she had just finished a marathon. Shaking hands clutched the thin blue sheet to her chest as her mind worked furiously.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, I was slumped over a table at the local college's café, exhausted yet ecstatic that finals were finally over! I was just beginning to really enjoy a good back scratch from my BFF, Pudding, when it was interrupted.<p>

"Sora. Hey, Sora. Hellooo! Earth to Sora, come in Sora!" Around the table, I heard various forms of laughter as I blinked my way out of a pleasure induced haze. "Hey, have a nice trip to La-La Land," Tomo snickeringly asked. I twitched my lips back, "Don't you mean Li-Li Land?" He laughed. "What in the world were you thinking about?"

I frowned as a vision of a burning island with a man and woman arguing on its shore flashed behind my eyes. There was a feeling of incompleteness, and I knew it to be that I was not there, though I couldn't tell you how I knew. "It's…nothing. I'll tell you when I get back."

"Get back? Are you going somewhere," Bulldog asked.

"Huh?" My eyes cleared fully, with a flash of light only a goddess saw, when I turned my attention to him. "Oh, uh, no. No, not really. Forget about it." I denied it, a bit hastily I'll admit, and they looked at me oddly for a second. They dropped it, but it was obvious that Tomo and Pudding were a little worried. _What am I supposed to tell them? That a sea goddess gave me the chance of a lifetime? That I'm sorry, you can't come with me, you guys _have_ a life?_ I studied my friends out of the corner of my eyes. _No, it's better I say nothing and tell them of my adventure when I get back._

"So, Sora. You gonna come with us to the movies this weekend?"

"Sure, Bulldog. What are we seeing?" I smiled and lost myself to idle chatter with my friends, knowing I wouldn't be here come the weekend, but unsure of when exactly I would be leaving. Surely, Calypso would give me time to pack a few things? Right?

* * *

><p>Puddles.<p>

Puddles everywhere!

Big ones, small ones, clear ones, murky ones.

Everywhere was dotted with puddles after the rainstorm last night. Walking home from Tomo's house, I soaked in the feel of the atmosphere after a good rain shower and breathed in the clean air. Checking to make sure I was alone, I started dancing down the street, jumping in the bigger puddles, hopping over the smaller ones. The tote I've carried for two days packed in anticipation of my trip swung wildly from my hand. Spotting a really big puddle, I ran towards it and jumped.

But, instead of hitting pavement, I kept falling. I had only the time to wrap my arms around my bag and shut my eyes before I was completely submerged. When my downward momentum stopped, I opened my eyes to try to determine how far I had fallen. Let me tell you, salt water freaking hurts! It could be nothing else for three reasons.

One, I had jumped into a crystal clear puddle. _Suspiciously so, now I think about it._

Two, there were ocean fish swimming around and about me. Or rather, _away_ from my sudden splash down.

And three, once I broke the surface, I saw something that would make Captain Jack Sparrow start forming useless escape plans. Cool as a cucumber Tia Dalma sitting on her porch, chuckling in genuine amusement. "And what, exactly, are you laughing at, Tia Dalma," I asked sourly. Hey, I had a right to be sour! This cat don't appreciate an unanticipated dunking! She smiled beatifically, "Your reacshuns are quite amusing, child. I di' no' expect ye to take a runnin' jump into da pool."

"Well, you didn't exactly tell me how I'd be getting here, did you," I retorted, calming myself forcefully. One hand was precariously holding my bag on my head out of the water as I dogpaddled over to the ladder attached to Calypso's shack…hut…thing. I'll just call it the house on stilts, shall I? Anywho, Tia Dalma said nothing until I was standing on her porch, wringing my hair out over the edge.

"You are well-prepared, yes?" She eyed my pack curiously, obviously unknowing of what I had deigned important to the mission. "You mean there's something you don't know," I asked impishly. She just gave me an unamused look. "Snort. As well as one _can_ be for an extended stint in the 18th century," I answered dryly. "No cell phone, no music, no modern packaged food. I've got clothes, a swimsuit, pjs, a bag of hair ponies, and my brush." This time she gave me a bemused look. Hey, I didn't say all modern stuff was left back in the 21st century. "Oh, and my contacts, all three of my knives, and my rune set." At that she raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm curious about runic fortune telling," I defended. I didn't tell her about all the other odd bits and bobs I had packed. I figured if she scryed me after this she would find out. I didn't want to reveal _all_ of my secrets this early.

She said nothing more, not that the crazy goddess-cum-human had said anything in the first place, and gestured me into her house on stilts.

* * *

><p>The next morning, outfitted in cheap but relatively inconspicuous 18th century clothes, I pondered on what Tia had said to me just before she sent me off in a canoe manned by one of the islanders.<p>

FLASHBACK

"_You 'ave a long journey, a'ead of ye, child, so take de on'y free advice I'll eva' give ye." She untied a string pouch from her waist and deposited the bag of coins in my hand. "Relax all your in'ibishons or you will no' last de fortnight." Her face was dead serious, so any objections I had died in my throat._

FLASHBACK END

I thought and chewed on the corner of my bottom lip and pondered and chewed some more. Finally, just as the islander set me ashore just south of Port Royal with nary a glance back, I came to decision/plan/thing. Tia Dalma, Calypso, the Sea Goddess herself, had chosen out of all the people on earth and time…me. To fight a battle against the extinction of piracy for centuries to come and to do it…_as myself_.

_Well, if Mother Ocean wants me to be myself, who am I to disobey? I wonder if she realizes what she just set loose on the poor, defenseless Caribbean?_ My eyes flew open from where they had closed against the bright sun and I smirked. In a house on stilts, a goddess frowned down at her scrying water and doubted. On a little dinghy, a pirate made the sign to ward off evil and reached for his rum. In a blacksmith shop, an apprentice stopped cold before resuming his work, pushing the strange feeling to the back of his mind.

_This…is going to be fun._


End file.
